Five for Friday, Edition #28

1) Does anyone remember the Great Cookie Plan of 2025? Well, last weekend I made some of the brown butter sugar cookies (of course I made them gluten-free, blah, blah blah) and they were delicious. My husband really liked them and it was really easy to make. I also brought them to book club and the non-GF people also liked them. They're a hit! (Also, A LOT of butter and sugar.)

2) I want to talk about this because I feel like it's important, but I also kind of don't want to talk about it. I had a concerning health screening and today I'm going in today to do a follow-up and I'm kind of nervous about the whole thing, even though it should be fine. In the meantime, I'm sorry to be so vague. I promise that once I find out if it's fine/it's not fine, I'll be more open about what's going on. Maybe especially if it's fine so that everyone else can learn from my (what I'm learning is) common experience. 

3) This weekend is the big Labor Day extravaganza! I will bringing two salads. I am not overthinking this and I'm going to bring green bean salad and my regular green salad with berries. 

4) Tuesday was a bad day for me. I got a phone call about point #2 in which they tried to reschedule me. At first they were going to reschedule me for Wednesday instead of Friday, but when I asked a follow-up question, it couldn't be done on Wednesday, so they were going to push it back until mid-September. I may have started crying on the phone. She called me back and said she could do it later in the day on Friday. And then I got off the phone, sobbed for a bit, and took the day off on Friday. Today! I'm off!

With some perspective, I realize that my reaction was over the top, but here we are. 

5) Once more with a random photo collage from this week. No explanations will be given.

****************

For my American friends, what are you doing with your long weekend? For everyone else, do you think it's weird that I made sugar cookies outside of Christmas? 

Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters

I read Spoon River Anthology because it was important in the book club in How To Read a Book. I was intrigued by the description, so I ordered it from the library where I just kept ignoring it in favor of books that were coming due. I have no more renewals on this one, so I finally dove in. 

This is a collection of poems Masters wrote, but the kicker is that each poem is an epitaph of a citizen of Spoon River told from the perspective of that person. It tells the story of a fictional small Midwestern town through these short, snappy verses. Published in 1915, this book was a super successful poetry collection and even today is often used in literature and theatre classes. The characters are sometimes based on real people Masters knew from his own Illinois small town and that courted some controversy back in the day. 

Do I love me a juicy story about a small town? Yes. Do I love how ruthless Masters was in describing the town? Yes. Did I love the cynicism of describing corruption and hypocrisy in a small town? Yes. Do I love a book in which a clever person who pays attention to detail can find all the connections? Yes. Did I love that there is a character in the book based on Theodore Dreiser who wrote An American Tragedy? Yes, I really did.  Did I love this book? I sure did. 

Some poems are better than others and the epilogue is ridiculous, but I would recommend this book if you're willing to put in the work. Also, it's sort of sexist, but also sort of feminist. SO CONFUSING. I love it. 

4/5 stars

****************

All page numbers come from this copy from the Internet Archive. 

Lines of note:

Then John Slack, the rich druggist, wooed me,

Luring me with the promise of leisure for my novel,

And I married him, giving birth to eight chidlren,

And had no time to write.

It was all over with me, anyway,

When I ran the needles in my hand

While washing the baby's things,

And died from lock-jaw, an ironical death.

Hear me, ambitious souls,

Sex is the curse of life! (page 48)

And I say to all, beware of ideals,

Beware of giving your love away

To any man alive. (page 70)

This oak tree near me is the favorite haunt

Of blue jays chattering, chattering all the day.

And why not? for my very dust is laughing

For thinking of the humorous thing called life. (page 86)

And I say to you that Life's a gambler

Head and shoulders above us all.

No mayor alive can close the house,

And if you lose, you can squeal as you will;

You'll not get back your money.

He makes the percentage hard to conquer;

He stacks the cards to catch your weakness

And not to meet your strength.

And he gives you seventy years to play:

For if you cannot win in seventy 

You cannot win at all. (page 155)

On spring days I tramped through the country

To get the feeling, which I sometimes lost,

That I was not a separate thing from the earth. (page 248)

(I resisted writing some of the entire poems down, but if you're interested, Mrs. Charles Bliss, Albert Shirding, and Washington McNeely all got (!) written down in my notes.)

Things I looked up:

flaneur (page 107) - a French term used by nineteenth-century French poet Charles Baudelaire to identify a person, typically male, who wonders around and observes society. Confusingly, Merriam - Webster has it listed as "an idle man-about-town," so it seems like the connotation might not always be as positive as perhaps Baudelaire intended.

termagant (page 118) - a harsh-tempered or overbearing woman

demirep (page 138) - woman whose chastity is considered doubtful

Baden-Baden (page 151) - a spa town in southwestern Germany’s Black Forest, near the border with France. Its thermal baths led to fame as a fashionable 19th-century resort.

With an inverted thumb, like Elagabalus? (page 239) - Elagabalus was Roman emperor from 218 to 222, while he was still a teenager. His short reign was notorious for religious controversy and alleged sexual debauchery. Maybe he was transgender (AFAB)? Something about his thumb (maybe thumb's up/thumb's down?). I don't know. I'm unwilling to wade through historians talking about this.

gonfalon (page 185) - a banner or pennant, especially one with streamers, hung from a crossbar

Hat mentions (why hats?):

old slouch hat (page 33)

fashionable hats (page 72)

Hats may make divorces - (page 72)

Her orders for new hats (page 276)

battered hat (page 279)

****************

Who's in on this? There's a blurb on the back of my copy that says "The single most widely read book of American poetry." - James Hurt, Illinois Authors. What's your take on this outrageous claim? What other American poetry collections do you think might be more read?

Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman

My book club chose Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman as our book club book when I wasn't there. I did sort of want to read it, but I had heard that the audiobook was the way to read it and it's only available through Audible, so I had to pony up almost $30 to buy it. According to my spreadsheet it isthe only money I've spent on books this year, though, so I think it's okay. My husband is also going to listen to it, so I guess that's okay. Anyway, the book is narrated by Jeff Hays.

(Written in June right after I finished.)

The premise: Aliens attack Earth and make the remaining humans fight in a dungeon as part of a live intergalactic game show. Carl and his cat Princess Donut are trying to survive. 

The execution: I don't know. It's funny, but the characters don't seem very interesting. Yes, I do like a talking cat, but poor Donut isn't an interesting cat. Carl is also funny, but I keep reading reviews that say things like heartfelt and emotional and I guess I just missed that? 

Also, let's talk about how this book is consistently rate as one of the best audiobooks and I found the narrator to be grating and sort of overacting. I honestly wish I had just read it instead of listening. 

But it was fun. It took me a couple of hours to get into it, but then at the end I was trying to squeeze in listening every minute that I could. If this sort of LitRPG/crudely humorous/darkly comedic look at the end of the world appeals to you, go for it. 4/5 stars

(Written in August after book club.)

3/4 people finished. We mostly liked it. The fourth person was reading it and felt like each page was just too much of an information explosion. We all agreed it would be a fun movie. One person is already on book three!

*******************

Would your book club read a book like this?

Feed (Newflesh #1) by Mira Grant

I once read a Mira Grant book called Into the Drowning Deep and I talked about it incessantly for weeks and weeks. It was so great and even now I sort of want to read it again. So when I was in Seattle and the friend I was staying with, Jason, had Feed by Mira Grant on his table, I got very excited and immediately ordered it from my library. He was excited to talk about it, but I have to admit I didn't want any spoilers, so I didn't ask any questions.

YOU GUYS!! Do you want to know what this book is about? If you don't want to know, stop reading now.

It's about bloggers in the zombie apocalypse!! Bloggers! Zombies!

Can you even think of a book that would appeal to me more?

Okay, well, this book was amazing. Yes, it's almost 600 pages long, but it reads like it's 200. Mira Grant writes in such a compelling way and I did the staying up way too late to read just one more chapter thing. 

We have a brother and sister pair who were born after the Rising. They have only known a life with zombies. They blog and are chosen to follow an up and coming presidential nominee. What's going to happen on the campaign trail?  I think you know that it's going to be hijinks. Another excellent thing to recommend this book is that Grant does not veer off into romantic storylines. There's no sex, no thinking about sex, and remarkably little mention of romantic relationships. That is PERFECT in a zombie book, as far as I'm concerned. 

I think everybody knows where this is going. 5/5 stars

****************

Lines of note:

Fear justifies everything. Fear makes it okay to have surrendered freedom after freedom, until our every move is tracked and recorded in a dozen databases the average man will never have access to. Fear creates, defines, and shapes our world, and without it, most of us would have no idea what to do with ourselves. (page 428)

This book was written in 2010 and you can sort of feel the backlash to the PATRIOT Act in it, can't you? 

Someday, we'd be cardboard boxes at the back of somebody's closet, and there wasn't a thing we could do about it. (page 493)

Ugh. Maybe this just hit me because of my mom's recent death, but it was like a kick to the solar plexus. 

Hat mentions:

None

Five for Friday, Edition #27

1) Once again, a huge shoutout to all of you for the continued outpouring of cards, packages, texts, emails, and everything else.  Your support really has meant everything to me. I vow that I shall pay all of your kindness forward.

2) I am probably not going to do a recap of my trip to California because, to be honest, it wasn't a great time for me. I was so worried about my mom and then my mom died WHILE I WAS AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION, and then we were there, but I was wishing I wasn't, and it wasn't great. There were highlights (the happy couple! the ocean! meeting J!), but I wasn't at my finest (a very public apology to J for not getting me at my best - in another time, I absolutely would have wanted to go to the beach to watch the kite surfers and search for seashells and done more than just a couple exhibits of the museum). 

If I'm being honest with myself, I do not know that I'll want to think much about this trip in the future. But here's a picture of me being me at the beach so you'll know I really was there.

3) Let's talk about my leg. Have you ever seen the x-ray? Let me find it and show it again. I had recent ones taken, but I don't know how to get a copy of those.

This injury took place in 2011 and over the years, as with the frog in the boiling water, I have started to have more and more problems with it.

I talked with an orthopedic surgeon who suggested two basic things: 1) remove all the hardware that is currently there, which would be a surgery more invasive than the original surgery, and then put in NEW MODERN hardware or 2) fuse the ankle so that it didn't it move. As you can imagine, neither of these options were appealing to me, so I set up some physical therapy appointments.

They haven't been magical, but they have been helpful. I no longer get out of bed and nearly fall over because the pain in my leg is too great. I am no longer taking Tylenol multiple times throughout the day. Can I run? Still no. Can I jump? I mean, sure, if I don't mind chewing Tylenol the next day. But as long as I don't do crazy impact things, I can do all the things. Let's call it a win.

4) I'm taking a page from Elisabeth's blog here and giving you some things that have made me happy recently. 

a. I had a giant, all day long presentation (in front of 100 faculty members of my college) on Wednesday and it's done. It went mostly well, but they were working on the HVAC system in the student union, so it was boiling in our room and I was sweaty upon sweaty AND SO WAS EVERYBODY ELSE. But it's done! And I never have to do it again.

Yesterday a lot of people came to my office to say that the training was super useful and helpful and that our team did a great job. I also had a few emails. I'm coming up on two years in my current job and I'm finally starting to feel like the faculty realize that I'm helpful AND I'm starting to feel knowledgeable. Our team is great, too. I was going to post of picture my boss took of me at the event, but there are too many other recognizable faces in it, so just imagine me looking like a boss lady (drenched in sweat) holding a microphone and having a hundred people staring at me. 

b. On Wednesday after that presentation I went to a yoga class at the community center and it was a mat class! No standing poses! Perfect since I'd been on my feet all day!

c. My SIL called me. That's it. That's the happy thing. She's really one of my favorite people in the world.

d. Birthday presents from my husband including some new earrings and a new yoga bag! A bit ago, I asked people for advice on a yoga bag that would carry my mat, blanket, two blocks, and a strap. Basically, people told me it was impossible and I gave up on my search. When I was at a class recently, someone had a PERFECT BAG and I asked them about the bag and then I asked for one for my birthday. (NOTE: That's an Amazon link. The company that makes the bag is a small business and when you go to their home page and try to buy directly from them, they send you to Amazon. I have accepted this as reality. Please don't throw eggs at my blog.) I have a blue bag. It is everything I have ever dreamed of in a yoga bag. (Okay, fine. Yes, I would prefer if it had a fun print or color, but you get what you get and you like it.)

You can wear it as a backpack or just have one strap slung across your back messenger bag style. 

It has a blanket, a mat, two blogs, and a strap, and you'll notice there's still room at the top. When I take it to campus to do yoga, I add my leggings to the bag. PERFECTION.

e) Zelda the Cat recently went on strike and refused to eat her food. I researched and researched and we started her on a new food and she loves it and I refuse to think about how expensive it is. But now both Hannah and Zelda are eating WITHOUT ANY ISSUES and this has been so rare that I'm loving every meal time. 

5) I'm just going to leave a photo collage of the last several days here with no explanation, in the style of Allison.

*****************

When's the last time you were at a beach? Do you have a recent purchase that makes you happy?

What I Spent: July 2025

 As a reminder, my husband pays the "big bills" like mortgage, phone, and electricity. I pay for groceries and the pets and that somehow evens things out.

July was a weird month. I spent part of it in Michigan, part of it in Seattle, and part of it in California. So what I'm saying is that I traveled more than usual. Honestly, I traveled more than I did all of last year in one month. As a consequence, my eating out budget is insane, but it's coupled with an incredibly small grocery budget. 

However, there was more travel (the end of the California trip and another trip to Michigan) in August, so the "travel" expenses will continue next month. 

Here's how it broke down. 

Entertainment ($12.65) - This is my Spotify subscription.

Gifts ($158.10) - Postcards and the like while traveling, the bag and snacks for the friend who was leaving, and gifts for our cat sitter. 

Cars ($196.20) - Gas and things, including some oil when I was in Michigan and the check oil light came on.

Savings ($200) - Lol.

Clothes ($200.58) - This is the cost of the permanent bracelet I got while I was in Seattle. I wasn't actually sure what category to put it in (travel? entertainment? - there was a hot debate about this when we were in Seattle), but it landed here.

Personal care ($251.71) - Hair cut, pedicure, random TSA approved items all add up.

Bills ($259.48) - Water/sewer and insurance.

Groceries ($271.52) - This is honestly half of what it usually is because I just wasn't home to go to the store. 

Pets ($364.76) - Food for both of them, litter for the cat, heartworm treatment for the dog (a six-month supply), and we also had to get a topical medication for Hannah for flea and tick because she couldn't wear her Seresto collar while boarding when we were out of town.

Eating out ($473.19) - This is crazy. It also includes $80 cash that was miscellaneous cash while I was in Seattle. We ate out in Seattle a lot and we ate well. I have no regrets. This, combined with my grocery spending, is more than I'd usually spend on food in a month, but YOLO.

Travel ($490) - One overnight in a hotel, transportation costs while in Seattle, and money I gave our host in Seattle for letting us stay with him. 

******************

If you stayed with a friend when you vacation somewhere, would you pay them? 

About My Mom

The things you should know about my mom is that she loved Dusty the Lhasa apso and Red the Pomeranian more she loved her daughters, watched television shows on aliens and Bigfoot on constant repeat, hated men, loved doing craft projects that ended up looking like a fifth grader had completed them, and had a stash of trashy romance novels under her bed the day she died.

 

In her defense, Red was an amazing dog. I loved him more than most people, too.

********************

One day I was having an allergic reaction to a medication and I had to leave high school early because the hives were freaking out everyone. My mom, sister, and I piled into the car and went to the doctor. They gave me antibiotics, told me not to take sulfa drugs ever again, and the three of us got ice cream and went shopping where we all bought new clothes and shoes, and we drove fast through the two-lane country roads lined with corn and wheat fields, windows down, screaming out the lyrics to "Pour Some Sugar on Me." 

********************

She used to say that you should always eat your dessert first because there might be a fire before dinner was finished and wouldn't it be a shame if you didn't get to eat dessert. 

********************

She worked for the post office for over thirty years. She sorted mail, learned to drive a forklift, and could tell you every zip code for every small town in Michigan, Illinois, and Indiana. It was fun to test her on road trips. Climax! 49034! Corydon! 47112!

********************

At my wedding, she insisted on wear a pink top that clashed with the red that was our wedding color. Oh, well. She carried around an ugly old black purse and in every wedding photo, she's holding on to that damn purse. It makes me laugh now. At my sister's wedding, I took my mom's purse and cell phone from her and held them hostage in my car. Everyone she knew was at the wedding, so no one would call her. And damned if I was going to let her have an ugly purse in every one of my sister's wedding photos. 

The strap!

NO ONE ELSE HAS A PURSE ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

********************

When she was a tween, her nightgown caught fire on a gas range when she was heating up water for tea. She had third-degree burns up and down the left side of her body. They grafted skin from her thighs for her upper arm and torso. She was heavily scarred and she was out of school for more than two years. 

********************

She had nine brothers and sisters. She was number nine. There are only four remaining siblings now. 

********************

She used to text me indecipherable words. The number of times I texted "I do not understand what you mean" is probably hundreds. The very last text she sent to me was "Rocket is he play with him steals his bones. And lets him have the big cat." The fuck, mom? (Translation: Rocket plays with Sy and steals his bones. He lets Sy sleep in the big cage. - Rocket and Sy are my sister's dogs.) 

********************

One time she signed a birthday card to me Love, Fran instead of Love, Mom and then she didn't call me on my birthday and I cried. After I got married, she never called me on my birthday. She said it was my husband's job. I don't know. It made me sad. 

********************

She worked nights and my father worked during the day. So he was the primary caretaker. Did she notice the bruises? The empty fridge? The fear in our eyes? 

********************

One time we went for a walk in a county park. I though the loop was .75 miles, but at about mile two, my mom was getting tired. I saw a road across a field and made my mom troop through the field to get to the road, found a church, and parked her at a bench by the church. I looked a map on my phone, realized our car was about three-quarters of a mile away via sidewalks and ran to the car and drove back to get her. She referred to it as "our little hiking adventure."

Not from the hiking adventure, but when we went to a mall and she suggested I buy bright pink lipstick, which I did, but then threw it away because I am not a bright pink lipstick lady. She asked me why I wasn't wearing it the next time she saw me.

********************

********************

********************

I remember Jenny writing once (on her blog? in a comment here?) that when her mom died, she had young children and she just kept doing the things that it takes when you have young children and then one day she woke up and her life was normal again. Like, different normal, of course. But she had to keep on waking up and tying the shoelaces and packing the lunches and whatever it is that you do with kids. And every morning I'm getting up and walking the dog and then I get home and I don't remember it. My day-to-day life has not changed much since I lived hundreds of miles away, but somehow the world seems different. And I feel different, but I can't put my finger on what exactly. But I'll keep waking up and living my life and someday it will be normal again.

Obviously our relationship was complicated, but I never doubted that she loved me and my sister with all her heart and she always did what she thought was best for us. I miss her random incomprehensible emails. I miss the jokes about how terrible men were and how I would have to defend them (ME!). My birthday just passed and I missed the card in the mailbox. But that's part of the process, right?

********************

********************

Thank you to everybody who has checked in with me in the last few weeks. The texts, the cards, the flowers, the books, the random board game someone sent with no name on it - it has all been very much appreciated. If I didn't send you a note thanking you, I have to admit that you probably won't get one because I have done a lousy job of keeping track. Just know that I did appreciate it and I have felt very much surrounded by love and support. 

********************

********************

I'm going to attempt to do my regular bloggy thing, but posts may be sporadic. But at some point, it will become normal again.